I wrote about the experience of filming the broadcast already, but now that I watched it and gave myself a few weeks to digest it, I’m ready to share my thoughts – praise, critique, and all…
I was touched by heartfelt comments such as this one:
This has been my favourite episode of Ben Fogle new lives in the wild. Thank you Nara for giving us an insight into your life, it is fascinating. I love your courage to live your life your way. I like yourself was a full time devotee, but my crab shell expanded. But, I remain a weirdo for life. Looking forward to reading your newsletter and book. Thank you Nara.
Not all the comments were as complimentary, of course, but quite a few came close. I like to add value to people’s lives so reading positive feedbacks feels encouraging.
Negative comments included someone calling me the biggest imposter he’d ever seen. I replied that it’s not the first time I’ve been called—not a fecologist, but a fake-ologist. I take critique with self-reflection… and a grin. I smile at myself to survive the realities of life and my own worst flaws.
The most popular English essay on my blog remains the one on egregores; I mention it because it explains how other people affect who we are with their perception of us. Because I’m aware of egregores I keep smashing the image that other people make of me by contradicting myself regularly.
In the essay I write:
When your followers start describing you with elation, smash that image. If you don’t do it, your egregore will slowly but surely turn your identity into something unrecognizable. And keep in mind, it has a way of reaching back to you and forcing you into submission too. You become a slave of the expectations of the masses, you have to show up as they want you to show up, and you lose your identity. As Anthony De Mello said: “When a million people follow you ask yourself where you have gone wrong.”
While I’m alive I’ll try to make sure no one flattens my image into something dull and two-dimensional, put me into a box of their own projections and idolise me in the service of their ideas or ideologies. I’ll smash that image, while staying loyal to deep principles that underline my life’s choices. So, if you notice something contradictory about me, if you catch me being inconsistent and you get disappointed about this—that fits my intentions. You might find it confusing, but that’s how I am…
I hope this lengthy introduction gave you an insight into my “chameleon” identity and will help you better understand my reflection on the broadcast.
First: my community’s reaction
I watched the broadcast on March 26, a day after it aired on Channel 5, in the company of my friends at Sunny Hill community. I co-founded this community over a decade ago so some members know me very well. Their reactions were mixed: some pride, some excitement, some smiles and nodding, but also some arched eyebrows, pursed lips and scratching their chins.
I asked for feedback but they didn’t say much. It was more or less: “Yes, that’s pretty much you.” Of course, they noticed many contradictions, as everyone who knows me should. I overheard some of their comments while we watched the film.
This is by no means saying that the film doesn’t do me justice, its merely filling up the gaps in the story…
For example:
- It felt somewhat uncomfortable to see me presented as a vagabond that lives from community to community. I normally have a base in one community and visit other communities with a purpose (mostly projects or events). So, if you wondered: the reason why I was in Molino de Guadalmesi was that I was sailing through a lull after a breakup, it felt great to take shelter in a warm place and I was focusing on wrapping up my novel.
- My friends rolled their eyes a bit at the mention of me being an “academic”. Maybe an “intellectual” (which Ben says later on). I am a writer, yes, and therefore very studious, curious, well-read and broad-thinking person, but at least technically not an academic.
- A friend pointed out that the film should at least give a glimpse into me lying in a hammock or sitting cross-legged by my little table on the floor while I’m writing on my computer—because that’s what I do a lot being a writer; more than anything else for that matter! It would complement Ben calling me an intellectual.
- My book is described as covering “everything I’ve uncovered on my travels” but that is not exactly true. The book was first published (in Slovenian) in 2007, before the majority of my travels. By then I’ve been to only a few countries, very few outside Europe. My book is the product of the tension between my choices, following my life in the Hare Krishna ashram, and global cultural norms. So, while the contents of my book were stirred up by travels to India, the crucial moment was when I left the ashram and landed (back) in the mainstream society, noticing how cultish the entire world actually is. “Cultish” because social pressure determines human behaviour much more than reason and common sense.
- In one scene, I talk about my experience of trusting that everything will turn out well. Still, my life is far from being smooth which is how it might look. My life is a rollercoaster, actually. Especially in the last two years. It is true, however, that when I’m in trouble, as if by magic, things turn out pretty good. So, this is somehow valid—but complicated.
- When I saw myself stressing how reliable I am, I pulled my head between my shoulders. People who know me will agree: “Yes, maybe Nara is reliable… but quite often he isn’t.” That’s especially true when I commit to tasks that I’m less fond of. I did some great stuff in my life, but I had a bunch of failures too. People who know me well will probably giggle when they see this scene.
- All of us watching the film were wondering why probably the most important role in my life wasn’t mentioned: the World Cleanup Day. If I remember well, Ben and I did talk about it and we even planned to do a beach cleanup. I’m sorry that this didn’t find its way into the broadcast.
Second: what I myself missed in the film
I really missed the scenes of my 50th birthday party. We put so much energy into it. I even translated my own song to English and learned it by heart, just for filming that scene. I know that my singing is at best mediocre but still, I put myself out there. As a writer I know how important it is to “kill your darlings”, so I guess that’s how I should look at it and empathise with the film editor who had to cut a lot of good material out.
The film focuses on the eye-level features of the “trunk of the tree” that is me, without giving so much attention to my “roots and branches”. That’s fair because it aligns with the perspective of most viewers and in 45 minutes it’s anyway impossible to go for a deeper dive into Nara. The film could do a little bit more justice to the breadth of my interests and work beyond community and my quirkiness. There are hints to it and I hope the viewers will check me out, moving past my “posterised” image.
Even Ben mentions “many layers of Nara that he is still to unpeel”. Well, you can continue from where Ben left you—resources are at the end of this post.
To wrap up what’s missing, let me give credit where credit is due! The quote “Everyone is somebody else’s wierdo” isn’t mine. I “stole” it from Scott Adams. It wasn’t mentioned in the film, so let me at least say it here.
The circumstantiality of my response
For those who don’t know, my mom died a month and a half ago. I spent two months taking care of her on most days while her health deteriorated. She died on 1 March 2025. At that time my health collapsed and I ended up ill in bed for more than a week.
I’m having a rough period in general with my community, my relationships, my work, my finances, my home… it’s all murky. I was anticipating hitting the rock bottom when I got ill, but then, on top of it, my mom died, I clashed with those closest to me—the sea floor kept cracking under my feet and a vortex is still dragging me down. I hope this difficult period (midlife crisis?) will end soon.
Dire circumstances affect my perspective on life, including my assessment of the New Lives in the Wild series about me. When I pull myself together I see it from a less grey angle but it takes a lot of energy to keep myself there.
When I’m in that positive space, I see that the person presented in the film is me, indeed! My quirkiness and my humanness come through. Fecology, barefooting and community being at the centre of the film is an accurate representation of me.
Oh, and I was blown away by how stunning the scenery turned out! As well as the warmth of the community feel. Camera crew did an amazing job! My dialogues with Ben are natural (with one or two exceptions) and there’s a sense of authenticity, which is very important to me.
As much as I criticized the editing at first, now it makes sense. It tells the story in such a way that an average viewer can follow it without being overwhelmed. The instructions how to eat loquat fruit are witty, fecology adds another layer of fun, barefooting seem quirky but it’s well corroborated—and what’s a chewing stick, anyway? The narration flows naturally and meaningfully engages the audience. I have grudges about some transitions and the choice of some scenes over others that were filmed but didn’t end up in the film, but all in all it’s a really good final product.
I’m satisfied with the general features of my portrait in the film and I see that most viewers are reacting favourably. I don’t like some angles of me and some ways in which my image was “cropped”, but all in all I am thankful for being given the opportunity to participate in this adventure! I’ll watch the film again and show it to others with pride, regardless of its (seeming) imperfections. As we say in Dragon Dreaming: “Perfection is the enemy of the good.”
As promised, here are some resources by and about me:
- The book Human: Instructions for Use can be purchased on my website.
- My blog is a repository of chosen articles that I published in Slovenian media and some free-floating essays, social commentaries and poetic reflections.
- Last year I started my Substack focusing on rewilding and higher quality original writing in English. This gives readers a possibility to support me by becoming a paid subscriber.
- The documentary Nara = Human (from 2016) can be rented here for 4€ (it comes with English subtitles).
- On that clean day is a documentary from 2010 about the biggest Slovenian environmental campaign which I co-initiated and co-lead. It fills what I consider to be a gap in the story that the broadcast presents.
