Our civilization is flourishing! We have solved most of our problems. Well, except for the ones we create for ourselves. But we keep solving them successfully every day! Well, the side effects have their side effects, but in principle, we are doing great, aren’t we?
The happiness of the bride in the photograph is the best possible depiction of the prosperity that accompanies us in our modern society.
Everyone around me is bursting with optimism and goodwill. Politicians are finally serving the people, economists are making sure the economy works for the common good, the environment is being taken care of by a whole army of bureaucrats with the latest climate strategy summarized on 376,413 pages of documentation that excludes no one and nothing. We have curbed old diseases so well that we are forced to discover and invent new ones, both physical and mental.
The enemies of our civilization are falling into the trap of our agencies, inspectorates, committees and institutes — all kinds of enemies: human, ideological, economic, electronic, ecological and immunological. Newspapers write about those enemies and sometimes even inflate our problems a bit, but that is for our own good so we wouldn’t take them lightly. We can never be too cautious!
It can’t get any better!
Our successes are so phenomenal that I wake up every morning to fabulous news. There are a few threats, of course, but fortunately, I find out about them the same day — ah, not just the same day, I learn about them several days in advance before the threat shows its true face.
It’s amazing that I can be worried about threats in advance; tomorrow might be too late! By tomorrow, I may not take the threat seriously, fear it, and follow the prescribed measures carefully enough — while scientists research and eliminate the threat and (what a luxury!) transparently report the results to me through trusted channels. If something is not clear, I just ask, and I get a kind answer that’s very easy to grasp.
What society has ever seen something like this in the past? And such a level of general public confidence in the experts and politicians! Amazing!
For now, it is not known whether the threats are really as terrible as previous studies have shown, but much is being written and debated, so we are all well informed and we can trust the authorities not allowing any risk to hit us. Exactly as experts ought to do.
When it comes to natural disasters, there is not much we can do. Neither with regard to the waves of refugees. Ok, there are a couple of dictators in remote countries here and there, so another wave of refugees is at our borders. Sometimes they bring with them some strange habits or even a contagious disease, but complaining about this is a sign of inhumanity. They need to be understood. Their differences come as exceptions not as rules, you understand that, don’t you?
In the same way, we need to understand billionaires. In cruel capitalism, in order to survive among other billionaires, they simply have to be part of the struggle and accumulate more and more. They can’t survive without cutting down some rainforests and planting palm trees for oil. We must not fail to be kind to them — they too are worthy of empathy!
Nature will get up ultimately, as well as will the poor. They are resourceful, as the millennia have shown, and the few hundred million poor who have died in epidemics, famines and wars are insignificant collateral damage for us developing to such an extraordinary civilization today.
All of today’s threats aren’t really anything special for our super-civilization. But still: better hold on to what you have than trust what’s coming — let’s be on the safe side. The risk is for professionals, and those with premium insurances, the rest of us should stay in our armchairs and risk only in virtual worlds of digital currencies, games and casinos.
We need to take all threats in the material world dead serious! Especially the threats that come in conjunction with other threats — even if the chances for them to affect us are slim. You have to be prepared for any kind of incident. You never know, maybe the next flood will coincide with an earthquake, a wave of refugees, a meteor shower and jota.
Never underestimate the danger of jota!
Jota is a letter associated with alpha, beta, omicron, and delta. (Of course, Omega will be the last, this threat will end with it, one way or another.) But if you don’t know, the worst threat for us is really jota…
[A side note: I use the Slovenian (and also Russian) spelling of the Greek letter “iota” because jota is also a traditional Slovenian dish with beans and sour kraut. The ambiguity between the two meanings is intentional.]
Jota research to date shows that it is not very dangerous, but my dear ones, do not trust this research that reduces its danger! Jota is spread by winds, not by coughing and sneezing.
Jota, what a coincidence, threatens the Slovenian traditional dish of the same name. The new measures proposed by the government in the coming months will strictly ban beans in our diets in order to prevent the spread of jota. The anal tests that most reliably identify jota are already being developed.
For anyone with evidence that they have received at least four doses of the vaccine against at least 50% of other variants in the last three months, anal testing will be free and they can even choose the gender (and age) of the healthcare provider doing the test. For everyone else, the price of the test remains the same and will take place in front of shopping malls, as before. The general sponsors of tests are the Naturists Association of and the Association of Amateur Proctologists.
The WHO recommends wearing anal masks (panties made of special microfabrics) which reduce the possibility of jota spread by 43%. Special filtering anal plugs achieve up to 95% protection. The advantage of the plug is that it’s equivalent to the test swab and you can present it to the medical professional at the shopping center and replace the plug yourself.
Every one’s well-being is our top priority
Not to get lost in too much detail, let me just say that the anti-jota strategy is based on strategies against other letters of the Greek alphabet and will undoubtedly prove a gigantic scientific achievement.
The synergy of politics, economics, science and education provides amazing levels of security so the only thing that bothers me might come in the distant, distant future.
Let’s say someday a really serious problem occurs, going far beyond alpha, beta, delta and jota, a problem going beyond the mechanisms of protection in our society that keep us safe so well. What will we do when they are not available to us anymore? How will we protect ourselves then? Will we still know how to do it? Will we be able to lean on each other? Will we be able to see the problem without the media pointing a finger at it?
Fear not! With such well-greased systems in our society — on a global scale and with such genuine care for the welfare of just about every human life, be it rich or poor, well-fed or hungry — we’re surely safe against jota. With such security systems, our civilization is bound to develop further and further. We have truly nothing to fear; the finger of the media will keep pointing to us all the problems and nudging us by the chin when our thoughts drift away.
Of course, some fools think it’s better to live with a disease and not even know whether you have it or not. But that’s stupid. It is imperative to know who is being affected by it and who is not, it is imperative to take preventive action. We must be serious! Jota is here, we cannot relax, we cannot let jota trick us.
We need to trust the system and empower it to continue to protect us from all threats. The day will come when we will nostalgically look back at jota and remember our current times. By then the system will be protecting us from much worse threats than jota, threats that still lie ahead.
That’s where we are. Serious problems demand serious solutions and we have to hold ourselves dead serious while we tackle them. Remember: that’s the only way to defeat jota!